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06/17/2010

Identifying A One Way Conversation Street

While flying home, I overheard a 23 year old male engage a pretty 30 year old female investment banker in conversation. The male peppered her with questions about where she lived (upper west side) to summer activity ideas (NYC Vanity Fair Summer Guide). Her answers never ran past 2-3 sentences, but he kept conversing by probing various topics.
"What's it like to live on the Upper West Side?"
Twenty minutes later, he stopped questioning and read a book, and she listened to music. They didn't talk again until saying goodbye while deplaning.

In my opinion, the male asked good engaging questions. He used anchor words as question topics. He made the conversation about the other person. In the end, however, the conversation faded like a dud firecracker.

Why? She never asked a question about him.

A healthy conversation is a two-way street. Short answers don't necessarily preclude healthy conversations, but lack of reciprocal questioning signals you're on a one way conversation street. Let it go, she's just not that interested in you dude.


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